Yes, you are certain it really had to be. Briefly looking around the cave to see if there are any fourth walls handy you can shatter, you step up to the door and start turning the weels to spell your answer.
As soon as the "T" is in place the door vanishes!
No fireworks, no flash, not even the probably more scientifically accurate but stil moderately dramatic clash of air meeting in the middle as a vacuume is suddenly created by something disappearing out of existance.
one moment there was a door, the next there is simply nothing there, ---- in fact given that the back of the cave is pretty much like the bit your currently standing in, mysteriously unexplained magical light, rocks, pointy standing or cieling bits, you really can't be certain where the door actually was.
However, with a cry of pleasure (or possibly a yell of fury, goblin vocal cords just aren't specific enough on such poits), Gougehook leaps forward and snatches up a small cardboard box which had been resting on the floor in the bit of cave you believe was behind the now disappeared magic door.
"this is it! ---- thank you human!"
On the box you see a printed card reading "J. W. Wells, plc old established family sorcerers"
With a grin which you hope isn't as horrific as it looks, Gougehook asks you to follow him back to the rockface. A short crawl later and you find yourself in the middle of a break tent full of goblins who very quickly change state from their usual pleased, industrious chearfulness, to a highly energetic extreme form of pleased, and you are subjected to so many greatful goblin hugs and slaps on the back that you begin to seriously worry about what they may do to your kidneys through lower back strain.
Gougehook takes a litle time out of urging everyone to begin a major party to explain to you that if the goblins arrived late with the crystals, the king would probably do something highly legal but inevitably unpleasant, such as having them chopped into tiny pieces.
With the spell back in their hands however, they will be able to get the crystals back on time, which will bring them great honour and earn them a worthy place in the afterlife.
there is something of an interuption at this point when Skullmash points out that according to the book of nasty injuries and the account of "him what actually been there" getting chopped into tiny pieces is probably a far better way of insuring the state of a goblin's immortal soul than anything else.
This leads to something of a theological debate most of the points of which you find somewhat incomprehensible to say the least, though sinse this also gives you the chance to sit down in one of the goblins' folding chairs and help yourself to some tea you don't mind.
Finally it is agreed that whether or not you've earned the goblins some time away from their punishment on the pillars of mastication, you've certainly helped them stay in the goblin king's good books which is a good thing either way.
After the dispute seems to have been resolved, you look up from your teacup to see Gougehook making his way towards you.
"Human, I take it you wish to escape the dungeon"
You nod very enthusiastically.
"Well, this may be of use to you. We took it to try and help us break the door spell, but it didn't seem to work"
Gougehook reaches into the pockit of his hyde overalls and produces a small, blue, plastic card.
You are just about to wonder how an American express card will help you get out of the dungeon, when you see written on one side in fancy gold letters is:
"the Adjective of noun"
And on the other in slightly smaller writing:
"Of help to any who wish to quit the dungeon"
If your writing these sorts of things down, you'd probably better make a note of this, as doubtless it'll be important.
though your slightly confused as to how a small very odd linguistic pun written on a plastic card will help you escape the dungeon, you give Gougehook your thanks.
Several cups of tea and a very large celibratory chocolate cake later (originally baked for Bograt dwarf throtler's birthday, though given the circumstances Bograt didn't mind sharing it early), and Gougehook is escorting you back down the north passage towards the dungeon crossroads.
You almost feel sorry, afterall, the goblins have been actually quite a nice and friendly bunch, and were it not for the irritatingly catchy if unpleasant folk songs you'd almost considder staying for a while and perhaps visiting the goblin city.
However really you think you should probably get on with the hole solving the dungeon business, and regretfully say a large number of fairwells.
Gougehook bids you a fond fairwell at the crossroads and you once again find yourself facing four entrances, ---- well two entrances really sinse going back north would b highly pointless, and the southern entrance is covered by an impassable iron grill.
Your fairly certain this grill is impassable. It's large, made of strong black iron and clearly intended to keep things and people out, and on it is hung one of those familiar white cardboard dungeon signs which says "impassable iron grill, entrance is restricted to insubstantial beings only"
Stil, this does leave you a choice of two highly mysterious passages to choose betwene, either the western passage that slopes mysteriously down to parts unknown or the eastern way climbing mysteriously upwards to undiscovered regions.
make choices!
The horrible dungeons of dreadful doom.
copywrite2011 by Dark.